What the *BLEEP* does self-care mean?!

If you are a woman and living in the modern world, have access to any kind of social media, or simply have friends, you have heard the term “self-care” or the phrase “treat-yo-self” approximately 1.23 million times. 

When this first started to hit blogs and Instagram, it was being approached from a standpoint of consumerism and binge eating/watching. While I agree that binge-watching Project Runway while downing a Costco size bag of Boom Chicka Pop sounds amazing, I also know through experience that this will not serve me or those around me. 

It will not serve YOU! 


***Don’t get me wrong, we all need to take some time here and there to do something mindless. It can be so nice to cuddle up on the couch with your partner or a fuzzy blanket and just stop moving for a minute. I fully partake in this practice once in a while.***

What self-care should look like is deeply personal. Deeply. So if what helps you come back to your self after an exhausting week being mom, wife, employee, daughter, or sister 24/7 is a tub of ice cream and a good book, then do it! But I will argue that is the exception and not the rule.

Self-care is when you figure out how to nurture what truly makes you, YOU. And if you have forgotten what that is, I urge you to take some serious time to figure. it. out. 


Let me spell out a little analogy I have heard in a couple of different ways but I first heard it from the queen of women power, Rachel Hollis. 

Imagine a beautiful crystal vase that belongs in the friggin’ royal vault. It is truly magnificent. Now imagine the purest Fiji water being poured into it at a nice constant speed. Eventually, that vase will overflow and spill all of that smooth, pure, and fresh water all over. 

Now imagine that same vase is only consistently a third of the way full. If it wants to share that small amount of water that it actually has, it is going to have to tip all the way over and will break in an attempt just to share what it has.

If you haven’t caught on yet, YOU are the vase and that Fiji water in the stuff that fulfills who YOU are! You can only effectively serve those you love when your spirit is full. 

So I remember thinking this question whenever I saw a blog post about “self-care”: 

What the heck would I even want to do if I had some time to myself to do whatever I wanted?

Things I have tried: pedicures, hairstyling appointments with drastic changes, Double Stuff Oreos, copious amounts of Dr. Pepper, long walks through suburbia, spending money I didn’t really have, and I am sure there are things that I am leaving out. 

They all made me feel better for the evening but they never gave me the key to breathing easier. Those things never gave me a direction for tomorrow so that I could change the “treat yo’ self” trend.

What the heck is the “TYST” Stef? 

Well, Susan, let me tell you!  

The TYST is the horrible pattern where you deplete, deplete, deplete, and then when you are just about left at 0, you “treat yo’ self”. You might feel a bit better for 24 hours and then the steep decline begins again. It is a pattern that I fell into and it is so dang unfulfilling!

The other line on the graph is the “living your best life” trend. When you have found what lights your soul on fire and you make time for that fire as much as you can, you are filling your soul and you will be so much happier!

You will be a better mom, wife, employee, sister, friend, or whatever roles you hold, YOU WILL BE BETTER AT IT! I am living proof of this! 

Okay, I will stop yelling at you. Can you tell that I am passionate about this?

As I was trying to talk through my feelings one night with my husband about the TYST I was on, and he looked at me and blew my excuses out of the water. 

“Stef! Fight for YOU!” 

I was stopped in my tracks. And it literally changed my outlook and life overnight.

So here I am trying to help you see the error in current cultural patterns. Help you to see that there is a part of you that is dying to get out and for whatever reason, you have pushed it to the back. 

Pay attention to that part of you begging to get out and Live Your Best Life!

Are you trying to figure out what that part of you is as you read this? Read the post linked below to help you find that fire. 

Let me know what you are going to do to get off of that TYST line and fight for YOU! 

Please follow and like us:

Leave a Reply